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  • Writer's pictureEdward Riederich

Aunt Ifa

There once was a woman named Aunt Ifa

She was seen from Portland to Topeka

For every city she had a surprise

And she had a fire in her eyes

See her in Seattle or maybe in Eureka


Yes she was a mean and cruel Auntie

Turning buildings into shanties

Burning up houses and property

Demanding justice, committing robbery

Aunt Ifa was an armed vigilante


An aunt to avoid at Thanksgiving

She's always angry, not forgiving

Maligns you when you've done no wrong

She always hums an anarchy song

An aunt eater from the beginning


Aunt Ifa knows how to play Uncle Sam

And Uncle Sam didn't stop her scam

With her it's "catch and release"

It's the "in thing" to hate the police

Her "righteous" stand is a sham


You used to find her at the land of Chop Not with a squeegee and not with a mop

But she would have spray paint cans

And stimulus checks in her hands

Yelling profanities at all the cops


In downtown Portland if you go for a jog

You will see Aunt Ifa sitting on a log

Sitting there burning our flag

Sitting there smoking a drag

And her brain cells are in a fog


Aunt Ifa's aunt hill brings unrest She seems to like the Pacific Northwest

Plays the divider, not the healer

Just ask Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler

Starting riots in her protests


On the news see these fire aunts

You can hear their unruly chants

Their mission is violence

Media helps with silence

Decency and order they supplant


Auntie will bring over cocktails

Destroys store fronts and retail

Spreading hate and terror

Consumed in ideological error

Opposing views she intends to derail


So Aunt Ifa still runs wild

Never disciplined as a child

Hoodies and dressed in black

The innocent she will attack

Liberty she has reviled


I don't think Aunt Ifa is employed

As I see more cities destroyed

Can't others see the light?

Or is it only those on the right?

But most of us are beyond annoyed




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