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  • Writer's pictureEdward Riederich

I Could Name Some Names

I reminisce of some previous horrible employees at our window cleaning company 

I could name their names but I won't 

What's the point? 

I could mention about two of my past workers who got in a physical altercation outside the customer's garage

One choked the other

The other loudly cursed him out 

With the customer home

With their garage door open

No five star Google review that day

I could tell of the time one employee pooped his pants on the job

Then he asked to use some of the company towels to clean himself up

I told him he could keep those towels as souvenirs 

He just said, "I'm shorry bosh, I'm shorry" 

He always seemed to say he was shorry

And why did he call me bosh?

Then this same guy dropped a ladder in the Catholic church and damaged the church walls

He just looked down and muttered, "Hail Mary mother of grace, I'm shorry I dropped that ladder in this place"

Then later he drove our Cargo van with brand new decals into a tree

Again he just said, "I'm shorry bosh, I'm shorry"

I was shorry for hiring him

Another employee ran over a fire hydrant with the company truck

Another employee did not tie down the 40' ladder properly 

It went flying off on the main highway and caused an accident

He caused the highway to shut down during rush hour

At least we got some free advertising with the decals on the sides of our truck

But I digress 

Others had ladders fall off trucks

Others fell off ladders

Others had pressure washers fly out of the back of their truck

Others were drinking alcohol on the job

One was found at the bar on his lunch

Another had empty Jack Daniel  bottles scattered throughout the work truck

Once I tried hiring from a halfway house 

That halfway worked

Until one of them went to jail and another went to prison

They didn't even add me on their visitor list

So I paid them no vacation time when they were in jail

Then there was the guy who fell off his ladder 

He broke his elbow and knocked out some teeth

The weird thing is he looked better after losing his teeth

Another worker had a piece of ladder fall and hit him in the mouth

He chipped some teeth

His new nickname was Chip

Then another guy carrying a four foot step ladder up a hill had it dig into the ground

He had his mouth open and he ended up eating the ladder 

He lost teeth 

You kind of knew our company workers around town because we had the employees with chipped or missing teeth

Then enter the thieves

I could name some names but I won't 

Like the guy who came on my property at 3am and stole an expensive ladder

Then there were the guys who stole my equipment to start their own business

They stole my drills

They stole my customers

They even stole my snacks in the office

I could name some names

But what is the point?

You have to go forward 

You have to stay positive

You have to believe for success and that each day is a new day

Well we did 

We prospered 

We overcame 

Now the business is flourishing 

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