Edward Riederich
Pat Down at 4am
I went through security but I didn't feel the love
There was a scary man and he was putting on glovesÂ
I walked through the machine but the lady said to wait here
And all of a sudden I experienced my biggest fear
The man said I need to feel your buttocks and groin
I decided it wasn't the best time to pick up that coinÂ
The man asked me if I wanted a private screeningÂ
But I wasn't really sure what he was meaningÂ
I said no just go ahead and feel awayÂ
And that was the way I started my day
At least the TSA gave me a little warning
But I'm getting felt up at 4 in the morning
I stood there with a smirk and tried not to laugh
While I was on display for his whole staff
He felt me up across my whole spectrum
But they found no drugs in my rectumÂ
Then he said thank you and have a great day
But I didn't say "you're welcome" to the TSA