I went through security but I didn't feel the love
There was a scary man and he was putting on gloves
I walked through the machine but the lady said to wait here
And all of a sudden I experienced my biggest fear
The man said I need to feel your buttocks and groin
I decided it wasn't the best time to pick up that coin
The man asked me if I wanted a private screening
But I wasn't really sure what he was meaning
I said no just go ahead and feel away
And that was the way I started my day
At least the TSA gave me a little warning
But I'm getting felt up at 4 in the morning
I stood there with a smirk and tried not to laugh
While I was on display for his whole staff
He felt me up across my whole spectrum
But they found no drugs in my rectum
Then he said thank you and have a great day
But I didn't say "you're welcome" to the TSA
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