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  • Edward Riederich

Smart Cheese


Parmigiano Reggiano is now using tiny trackers to fight cheese fraud. Tracking devices will be put in the label on the cheese's rind.

Of all the world's problems here and abroad

I heard the new problem is cheese fraud

Now they are putting trackers in my cheese

So the counterfeit blocks they can seize

Where oh where is this chip embedded?

And what if the cheese I bought is shredded?

I'm not sure how they will make it better If they put transponders in my cheddar

Tracking my feta cheese is a little scary

I guess living under the grid means no dairy

In my house I now whisper just a smidge

In case they are listening from my fridge

I began to talk to my cheese and cracker I said I know who you are you little hacker

My wife then looked at me a little weird

But this smart cheese is what I've feared

We are being followed, we are under attack

They can hear us talking through our Monterey Jack

I'm not putting all cheese under the same umbrella

But I feel like I'm being listened through my mozzarella

Now when I pass by the cheese in the store

I whisper and don't talk like I did before

And next time you journey over to your Walmart

Watch out for the tracking cheese that is smart

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