If I became a modern day pastor I might be shunned
Because I might be tempted to start a building fund
I could tell the churchgoers they are the missing peg
Then I could use the Word of God to help me beg
Bringing your best gift forward I could describe
Then I could offer free iPads to assist in my bribe
Appeals and begging could become my new hobby
Because we would somehow reach souls by having a new lobby
Millions of dollars raised or whatever its worth
I could create this modern church paradise on earth
Then I could tell people they would be blessed
Only if they donate their very very best
I could tell them all to give without measure
If we get the new sound system there will be eternal treasure
Or if they gave enough we would rejoice in the news
We could get a coffee shop and call it "Hebrews"
I could tell them if they give another giver will match
Yes that might make some heads scratch
The giver would match their gift so it's like giving double
I could do my best to keep church members in their bubble
With my begging style some people would be loathing
Because all I would be is a sheep in wolf's clothing
Many pastors today fall into this building fund trap
And when I hear their pleas I want to go home and take a nap
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