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  • Writer's pictureEdward Riederich

The Man Who Spoke Spatalian

There was a man named Jimmy who learned Jiu-Jitsu

Jimmy was pretty strong. You could tell when he hits you

Jiu Jitsu Jimmy just drove a little Jetta

And he would jabber on Facebook which is now called Meta

Before Jiu-Jitsu he would just do judo

Before he pinned someone he would say "Benvenudo"

He didn't know Italian but he would just pretend 

He would say "hey perdente" when an arm bar he would bend 

Sometimes he would try to speak Spanish which some thought was valiant 

But the languages got criss-crossed and came out as Spatalian

Whenever Jiu-Jitsu Jimmy would drink java at a bistro 

People would just stare and say "non caprisco"


People got confused at this man they saw 

One minute he'd say "Scusi" and the next minute "Como estas"

Then he would mix up words which was a real doozy

Suddenly he was saying "Como escusi"

Trying to understand Jiu Jitsu Jimmy was such a pain

I guess Jiu Jitsu Jimmy should have stayed in his own lane

Yet in Jiu Jitsu he would go on to win a medallion 

But still no one could understand Jimmy because he spoke Spatalian

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