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  • Writer's pictureEdward Riederich

The Plumber Duck

There once was a duck who said quack

He worked as a plumber but didn't show his crack

All his friends went back to school after the summer 

But this tenacious duck worked hard as a plumber

Every day he would get up at the quack of dawn 

By 7am he would always be gone 

With his tools he knew what to take

He always had on him a roll of duck tape

At times he thought this really stinks

As he worked on toilets and as he worked on sinks

At times he felt like his life was going down the drain

But he didn't quack under pressure, he would not complain

When he played poker with friends he knew too much

He always seemed to get a royal flush

This plumber duck worked on his pipes 

Other careers were just not his type 

But then one day he would stop 

He visited a donut shop

He went there with his long lost cousin 

There they sat and there they ate a dozen

His cousin asked as they sat there on their rear

Have you ever thought of starting a new career?

Plumber Duck began to question his life goals

As they scarfed down all the donut holes 

His cousin told him you can't put all your eggs in one basket

Do you really want to be remembered as a plumber in your casket? 

His cousin said you can make more money if you go back to school 

Then one day you can waddle out to your in ground pool

Plumber Duck wondered if his life purpose was missed

So he went back to school to become a therapist 

He helped many patients gain their voices 

He guided their feelings and their choices 

He talked through their emotions and their will

Then he sent his customers a hefty bill

Not the bill from off Plumber Duck's face 

But the bills that helped fill his account at Chase 

To his electro shock therapy his clients had flocked 

Some were impressed but others were shocked 

But for most clients he just lent an ear 

He listened as he sat on his little duck rear 

Many came to Plumber Duck to hear his "wisdom"

His bread and butter came from those who played the victim 

Though he lived in a twisted system 

He was shrewd and used it to assist him 

He left the plumbing profession and did not go back 

He thrived as a therapist but some thought he was a quack 

But for once he seemed to have his ducks in a row

No more working on the pipes below

As a sitting duck the money was now in his court 

As he offered his overpriced emotional support 

He kept on counseling those down on their luck

But no one ever guessed he was once a plumber duck 

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