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  • Edward Riederich

Total Eclipse of Walmart

Updated: Dec 28, 2021

(Parody of Total Eclipse of the Heart)


(Turn around) Every now and then I go to Walmart only The only store opened I've found


(Turn around) Every now and then I see a mask is required To help shoppers feel safe around


(Turn around) Every now and then someone gets a little bit nervous When I walk in not sanitized


(Turn around) Every now and then someone gets a little bit terrified From seeing the Walmart greeters eyes


(Turn around fright eyes) Every now and then shoppers fall apart (Turn around fright eyes) Every now and then at Walmart


And I need Charmin tonight And I need Walmart more than ever If I can only find the Sprite I don't want to be here forever And I'm wearing my mask on tight One way aisles seem so wrong Together we can get there before they close at 9 Big Brother's like a shadow on me all of the time (all of the time) I don't want to be in the parking lot at dark I really need to hurry where I parked I really need to get home tonight Some redneck's gonna start a fight Some redneck's gonna start a fight


Once upon a time I shopped at the mall But now I only shop at Walmart There's nothing I can do Total eclipse of Walmart Once upon a time they would sanitize for me Now I just wipe down my own cart Nothing I can say Total eclipse of Walmart

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