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  • Edward Riederich

Twas the Night Before Christmas

Updated: Dec 29, 2021

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house Everyone was quarantined even my spouse The stockings were hung sanitized with care In hopes that my family would be virtually there


The children all nestled snug in their beds While visions of socializing danced in their heads Mama in her visor, I in my mask Had just finished our fumigation task


When out on the lawn arose such a clatter I sprang from my bed to see what was a matter Away to the window flying like a flash When out on the doorstep was my door dash


Soon the best of the businesses were slow As the media would drag on with the Covid show When what to my wondering eyes did appear But a miniature doctor bringing no cheer


With a little old lockdown do lively and quick I knew in a moment I was getting ticked More rapid than eagles the governors they came And they whistled and they shouted and they got called by name


Now Newsom now Brown Now Wolf and Clown On Inslee on Cooper On Murphy on Whitmer


To the top of our porch To the top of our wall Now dash away, dash away Dash away all!


Dry leaves flew by when to freedom said goodbye Governors loved their power mounting to the sky Up to your house top governors flew With a sleigh full of restrictions just for you


And then in a twinkling I heard on the roof The prancing and pawing of each little hoof As I counted in my head my guests around Down the chimney Governor Cuomo came with a bound


He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot And his soul was tarnished with ashes and soot A bundle of citations he had flung on his back And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack


His eyes how they were wrinkled making Christmas not merry His cheeks were like roses, angry and scary His drawl big mouth was drawn up like a bow And the state of his heart was as hard as stone


The stump of small business he held tight in his teeth And the smoke from protests encircled his head like a wreath He had a broad face and round little belly And he governed New York more like New Delhi


He shut down the churches, not a jolly old elf I cringed when I saw him in spite of myself No wink of his eye but a twist of his head Soon gave me to know there was much to dread


He spoke not a word but put people out of work And somehow in nursing homes the virus did lurk Holding his Emmy along side his nose And giving a nod up the chimney he rose


He sprang to his sleigh, to his Covid team gave a whistle And away they all flew like thorns and thistles But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight "No Christmas to all, and to all small business Goodnight"

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