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Writer's pictureEdward Riederich

Welcome to the Bathroom All Gender

Updated: Dec 26, 2021

(Sung to the tune of "Hotel California") I rewrote this song in the past for "Lockdown California" but it worked again for what I wanted to say.


On a dark bathroom doorway, at the sign I stared Warm smell of excretion, rising up through the air Up ahead in the distance, I saw a triggering sight Her face was hairy and not quite a him Something didn't seem quite right Then she or he stood in the doorway I smelled the emission smell And I was thinking to myself This could be Kevin or this could be Chanelle Then she lit up a candle and I reached for the Lysol spray There were voices down the corridor I thought I heard them say


Welcome to the bathroom all gender Such an unlovely place (Such an unlovely place) Such a cornered space Plenty of room at the bathroom all gender Any time of year (any time of year) You can find it here


Her mind is visibly twisted, she likes to gender pretend She got a lot of pretty pretty boys she calls friends How they glance in the bathroom, sweet summer threat Special laws for transgenders, special laws to be upset


So I looked at that caption Please show me that bathroom sign She said, "We have a bathroom like this because we have no spine." And still these choices are leading us far astray Wake you up in the middle of the night Just to hear them say


Welcome to the bathroom all gender Such an unlovely place (Such an unlovely place) Such a cornered space They livin it up at the bathroom all gender Watch your child at night


Morality they are stealing Yet so few think twice And she said, "We are just transgenders here because of our own vice" And in the master's chambers They gathered to excreet They cater to all the lies Their pandering has not ceased


Last thing I remember, I was Running to the store I had to find the passage back To the bathroom I was at before "Here's exlax" said the night man We are programmed to relieve You can can check in any time you like But you can never leave

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