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  • Writer's pictureEdward Riederich

M & M's Have Gone Woke

M&M's melt in your mouth and in your hand

They've gone woke all across the land

Gender identity has been nixed

And the M&M's just got fixed

Green candy can change to brown too

And red candy can identify as blue

Gender neutral and all that jive With red 40 and yellow 5

What if yellow 5 wants to identify as red 40

And can one identify as tall and not be a shorty

I always liked the chocolate with the crispy But now it's chocolate confused and wispy

The M&M in my hand wants to fly solo

He told me he identifies as a Rolo

I said Huh is this some kind of joke

No us M&M's we've all gone woke

To be honest when I bought a bag from a vendor

I opened it up and never thought of gender

I never thought of an inclusive attack

I just wanted some candy for a snack

I would throw them in the air and catch them with my chops

Everyone around would give me props

I could catch popcorn but I don't want to choke

And Orville Redenbacher will probably go woke

Sometimes I would attempt to catch red grapes

When I caught one I'd beat my chest like an ape

My friends would laugh and think it's funny

Then I would stuff my mouth and play chubby bunny

What is going on in this crazy world

I don't care if candy is a boy or a girl

Can someone please keep wokeism at bay

I'm sure someone says Skittles are gay

Don't even get me started with Gummi bears

And what their gender is or what they wear

Unfortunately we are being led by a bunch of dummies

Just leave me alone and let me eat my Gummis

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